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Every mean kid is a precious gift in the hands of a sociopathic parent Dirty deeds |
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How to raise a playground bully

Little Rocky
**** Though some supervillains are made late in life, whether due to industrial accident or traumatic experience, the majority of them learn their talents out on the playing fields and mean classrooms early in life, cutting their teeth (sometimes literally) on the victims of the future and learning first-hand what makes them squirm. Parents and other figures of authority play a vital role in bringing young delinquents to their full potential by serving as practical examples of the rewards and challenges an evildoer will confront, and occasionally reinforcing these lessons with their words or the back of their hands. Although it is possible for a world-class fiend to rise up devoid of adult models in their past, occasionally due to forced separation from that sort of society, those twisted souls frequently have issues when dealing with minions and allies to their advantage, a handicap that occasionally proves to be their downfall. Here are some guidelines to set your youthful charges on the fast track to no good in ways that will help form a sturdy foundation to their depraved characters.

*Evil plotpoints

  1. Be frank and open. Have a heart to heart discussion with your child about bullying. Use this opportunity to pose questions to your child such as "Do you know anyone who you would like to bully?” or "Have you ever tried bullying?" Let them know that you are there for them to give them guidance and support.
  2. Listen to their concerns. If your child confides in you about self-doubts as to how effective a bully they can be, owing to insecurity about physical prowess, doubts about manipulativeness, or lack of support by the school administration, give them a fair and balanced hearing before blazing in yourself, guns and sabres drawn.
  3. Sense of entitlement. Build up your child’s ego, encouraging him or her to dominate bigger, more challenging kids than the small fry they may have concentrated upon. Praise them for any shakedown money they have squeezed out of the others and let them know that it’s not the amount that matters, but the viciousness.
  4. Work with complicit authorities. If you as a parent can ensure with those running the school or other institution that your child will operate unmolested through bribes, blackmail, or threats of your own, this will take a huge load off of your young monster, who will no longer need to act with one eye constantly looking over his or her shoulder. An environment conducive to their vicious streak, where bad acts — even flagrantly illegal ones — can go unpunished is one that where a bully can truly flourish.
  5. Living in the lair. The bully’s education does not stop at the schoolyard gate. By luring unsuspecting children into your compound, you can provide a wonderful opportunity to try new bestial techniques that would be difficult or impossible to pull off in the more controlled environment of the school or in the wide-open arena of the streets where it is so hard to maintain the upper hand.

And so it begins

! Strokes of genius

  • Mean girls. If the child is a female, there are special challenges and special opportunities for you to set her up as a delinquent. The role she should aspire to is that of the evil queen bee among her circle of tough kids, capitalizing on the tendency toward increased social awareness that girls have compared to boys. The lack of upper-body strength can easily be offset by enlisting flunkies who excel in that particular way.
  • Special physical traits. If the child is a mutant, a cyborg, part alien, or anything other than the plain old human sort one's attention will naturally turn toward those features that set him or her apart rather than the commonalities. Carefully set up a plan that establishes what is unique about the child as something the others will fear, as a first step to get them to obey.
  • Fat and sassy. It helps immeasurably if your child can literally throw around their weight with impunity. This does not mean that you should aim to make them into vast corpulent slugs, since it is the muscle, after all, that is the key. Some villains swear by the use of growth hormone and other aids.
  • The role of the downtrodden. Most bullies rely on weak, helpless animals and smaller children to work their cruelty out without fear of retribution. Try not to provide them with targets directly, since it is an important part of the bully’s formation to be able to identify and cultivate these independently.

!! Traps for mere fools

  • Vigilante justice. Experienced bullies can now and then be taken by surprise when one of their targets learns to fight back. All over the country, dozens or hundreds of bullies are injured by unsuspected acts of retribution which can so easily be avoided. Teach your child to always keep the odds heavily stacked in their favor, and to give any kids who appear too clever or too good at fighting a wide berth. Best of all of course would be for them to recruit those individuals to work on their behalf.
  • Truant officers and other influences. These are rare to the point of being mythical creatures in this time of tight school budgets, but now and then an administrator in the soul-crushing system that is education will go rogue and start hunting down the mean kids out of a personal sense of mission. Armed with lawyers and personal security forces, if you can spot these coming you should be able to take them down.
  • Metal detectors. These electronic squealers put a sort of buzzkill on the bully who likes to keep cold hard steel around for reassurance. High impact plastic knuckles work nearly as well as brass, ceramic blades hold a keen edge better than most steels, and the technology of producing small sidearms with a minimum of metallic content continuously progresses.

Rex Auer

+ Precious and needful

  • Stylish wardrobe. 
  • Anabolic steroids.
  • Hush money.
  • Mini lair. Typically set up in an abandoned shed or the basement of a crack house.


Further plotting



Created by: CapellaNovafyre. Last Modification: Sunday 16 of October, 2011 05:49:31 EDT by CapellaNovafyre.

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