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How to conceal an island

****Many benefits accrue to the villain who has his or her lair on a place which isn't on any map. It makes one that much more difficult to attack, enhances the aura of dread and mystery so prized in our profession, and discourages minions from applying to jobs with other masters, because of the trouble in checking out their past references. Not least in importance is the way a hidden hideaway is so conducive to the enjoyment of quiet time which is very important to mental and spiritual stability of an overworked and perhaps overencumbered insane mastermind.

Dropping a tropical island paradise laboratory complex out of sight is more straightforward than one might think, though still not a project for the novice villain. It is a fascinating and undoubtedly envy-inducing scheme that will keep even the most inhumanly cunning malefactor who is dedicated to perfecting it engaged and challenged at numerous levels. It also can afford opportunities for liquidating unwanted prisoners and infiltrators, if done at a fortuitous moment.

*Evil plotpoints

  1. Find an island. If you have a choice, find or create one preferably one quite low to the water, to make the landmass that much easier to inundate. As a rule of thumb, an island 1000 hectares in size a meter deep translates to about ten million tons displacement, the equivalent of over a thousand large submarines.
  2. Prepare the platform. Scour, seal, and secure everything on topside or bring it down below. Buildings should be encouraged to go downward, not up, transportation networks should be enclosed and proof against submersion, and hatches communicating via airlocks to the top need to be tested to keep their integrity at depth. Attach any thrusters and ballast tanks beneath the waterline at this time as well.
  3. Clear the way. If your island is attached to the seafloor, now is the time to cut it free and excavate some space beneath it. If it is an artificial raft-like arrangement, remember to engineer a sluiceway between its drydock and the open sea which will support its weight and not lead to hangups.
  4. Submerge. On the fateful day, flood the ballast tanks, use hydraulics to pull the platform beneath the surface, or apply alien gravity-control technology to perform the equivalent functions. The first time you wetdown your island should be with a sacrificial skeleton crew to check for leaks before you take her down in earnest.

! Strokes of genius


  • Clouds and murk. To help defeat satellite mapping systems and aerial photography, arrange to have a semi-permanent shroud of fog over the submerged location of your island and a fine suspension of sediment in the water as well.
  • Resupply. When your island is finally off the map, you will, of course, be unable to host any sort of normal commerce. If your trading partners and extortion victims will agree to airdrop their goods to a particular coordinate site where your operatives will be able to perform a pickup and bring these items to your base via a circuitous and confusing route, you will be able to stock up on vital consumables without blowing your cover. Be aware, however, that this is one of the first things that your enemies will be seeking to subvert in order to get at you, and work hard to stay one or two steps ahead of them.

!! Traps for mere fools

  • Weather systems. Although it is actually better to be beneath the waves than above when it comes to being battered by the elements, a good-sized typhoon or a vigorous waterspout can still raise havoc with your concealed island. And in cold climes, a close encounter with an iceberg is just as bad when you are above or below the waterline. Staff a weather bureau of your own henchmen to watch out for these kinds of hazards, and take measures to retreat to safer environs well before they draw near.
  • Daikaiju (external link) monsters. These are the hefty irritable critters most commonly seen in films of that genre from Japan, which have a predisposition to dislike any kind of heavy industry perceived as encroaching on their home waters. If you are a seafaring monster-breeder with a huge nuclear plant on site and expansive flotillas of underlings issuing from your underwater ports at all hours, you are especially likely to run afoul of any of these in your neighborhood. The track record of negotiating terms with such creatures is not a good one, so it is best to avoid the sticky situation completely if at all possible.
  • Saboteurs. Aquatic heroes with an extra dose of cunning and vigor will eventually find a way past your first-line traps and ruses and may even find their way into more sensitive areas of your operation. Be sure to include at least two redundant systems of each sort all the way up to the command consoles, protected with security measures and reliable armed guards, and perhaps a third or fourth non-operational decoy machine room to throw these pests off long enough for you to exterminate them.
  • Leaky pumps. We refer here not the ladies shoe style, but to deficiencies in the water handling equipment. Deal with these using a bit of moleskin.
  • Posting your GPS coordinates online.

+ Precious and needful

  • Periscope.
  • Anchors.
  • Sea-Bands (external link) for everyone.
  • Water wings.



Further plotting



Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Friday 28 of August, 2009 16:11:43 EDT by CapellaNovafyre.

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