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Brainstorming your way to evil success. Evilcraft |
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How to come up with brand new evil schemes

****Most likely, you turned to a life of depravity expecting a stimulating and constantly changing set of challenges. Once you have settled into a sort of groove where you know exactly what your peculiar talent is, it is seductive to imagine a life of comfortable routine. The one overwhelming drawback of this is the danger it exposes your whole evil empire to: if the forces of good can start to predict the boundaries of your comfort zone based on the pattern of your past capers, they can find the weak points in your skillset and step up the attack.

The best way to avoid this, as well as the most enjoyable, is to seek out new kinds of rottenness to undertake. That way, you opponents cannot simply pigeonhole you as a child abductor, or a robotic phalanx general, or a planet digester, when you suddenly start to show links to new and surprising areas of mayhem. Even if you are by nature a lawful sort who prefers to have things run along predictable paths, you will almost certainly discover new resources of improvisatory flair deep within yourself as a natural and healthy side-effect of returning to beginner's mind (external link), as when you first started your malefic rampage.

*Evil plotpoints

  1. Turn that rule upside-down. Look at a list of laws and moral precepts (for instance, the universal declaration of human rights (external link)), crafted by people who have thought long and hard about what is just, and try to turn them around or twist them so they are as unjust as you can manage. Think about your situation and think about how you could implement the perverted dictum. Twisting an existing truth is easier than coming up with an evil act in a vacuum.
  2. Just ask. A full spectrum of evil cannot be gained this way, Some societies do not have written laws, some do not even have a comprehensible social contract. To find out what would be shocking and disgusting to them would be hard to find in written records. Instead better to do man in the street interviews take a member of the victim's society that you wish to prey upon, abduct or detain them, apply subtle or non subtle pressure on them, find out what their fears are, what their weaknesses are, the limits of their rationally, see how these can be distorted and magnified. What kinds of activities play on these in the population at large. Use virtual reality and roleplaying to run many scenarios on your informant in a way which would be difficult and costly to do in actual operations. You will doubtless find that the sentient mind is better able to dream up much more exotic and varied horrors than the bureaucratic mind.
  3. Edifying reading. You can also plumb the annals of fiction and non-fiction literature to come up with barbarities. As an exercise read about ten ways to perform atrocities in the course of genocide, come up with your own eleventh and twelfth ways. Try Combining, Extending, Stretching, Inverting, and otherwise Transforming the examples.
  4. Steal and steal boldly. Have you heard about a daring caper, a bold set of atrocities, an audacious bid to plunge entire nations into a morass of despair? Study the details of the plans by other evil masterminds and see what detail or underlying motif grabs you, then challenge yourself to take this nugget and spin out a new plot of your very own. You might be reluctant to bore in at the same vulnerability that was exploited recently, thinking that surely the powers of good have plugged the leaks, but consider how many computer viruses based on the exact same attack can flourish and you will realize that the adversary is not as vigilant as you would expect.

! Strokes of genius


  • Keep a diary. When you wake up in the middle of the night screaming, reach for your pad and capture what it was that had you in the grip of terror. When you are cut off in traffic and your mind spins out elaborate tortures you would like to visit on your tormentor, record those too. And when a campaign of crime begins to draw to its conclusion, during a break in the action, take a moment to jot down what worked well and what thing you would have liked to change about your evil ways. This diary will in time become a treasure trove to mine for new concepts and new scenarios which suit your style.

!! Traps for mere fools

  • Thinking too small. Stealing a painting from the Louvre? How about stealing all the art from the Louvre? Bombarding the city of Moline, Illinois from your orbital platform? Come on, why spare the rest of the state? When you are brainstorming (external link), you have to trick yourself into one of those states of mind where your internal censors are turned off, temporarily, so that you don't rule out the kind of crazy scheme that is just crazy enough to work.
  • Arguing over the details. So you and your top henchmen are in a room discussing the notion of kidnapping Third World orphans as slaves in your email scamming program, and one of your lieutenants is focussing on exactly where these street urchins are going to be set up with their OLPC laptops and how many chairs and desks it is going to take, and he will not let go. Don't let that hijack the meeting — grab that guy and toss him in the octopus tank stat! If you figure that your normal working hour is worth say $500, given the size of your enterprise, up that by a factor of four or five during a brainstorming meeting based on the level of mental activity, multiply by the number of executives in the conference pit, and you will realize that you cannot tolerate that kind of thing. And everyone around you will know too.

+ Precious and needful

A description of new philosophical furnaces: or, A new art of distilling, divided into five parts (1651)
  • Recycle. Take advantages of whatever resources you have ready to hand. For example if you have a cache of fissile material, take the examples in the literature and ask yourself how they might have been enhanced or sharpened by the addition of fission bombs, dirty bombs, radioactive poisons, or whatnot. Be creative when brainstorming and make it a fun activity with your subordinates or peers.
  • Be a kid. Never grow so serious that you have lost touch with your inner child. One example from my personal experience: picture an innocent-looking candyshop with confections in the window, lovely for children. Then the Day of the Dead (external link) comes and passersby start to see instead a display of candy skulls — made from real skulls, heralding the shop's transformation into a place of unspeakable horror.
  • Use a robot. Say, this plot generator (external link).


Further plotting



Created by: GrinningSkull. Last Modification: Monday 09 of August, 2010 21:50:27 EDT by GrinningSkull.

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